The "Growing Through Grief" Series

The Grief That Can't Be Spoken: Suicide
by John Kennedy Saynor

"In the musical "Les Miserables" there is a song that contains these words: "It's a grief that can't be spoken, a pain that never ends." This brochure is about that kind of grief: when the death of a loved one is the result of suicide. There are many losses that people experience for which they are offered little or no support. When that happens, those people are know as "hidden grievers".

Tip: Face the truth about the nature of this death. In my work with bereaved people, I often encounter those who find it difficult to admit, even to me, that the one who died took his own life. People tell me, "He had a heart attack" or "She had cancer". If I know or suspect that suicide was involved, it may take me some time to get the survivor to face the reality of what actually happened. Creating myths around your loss isn't helpful. If you don't deal with the reality of this death, it will hinder your ability to resolve your grief and to rebuild your life.