The "Growing Through Grief" Series

The Grieving Family
by John Kennedy Saynor

"One of the least understood aspects of the grieving process is the affect it has on a family unit. A family functions much like an executive committee. Each member has responsibilities and obligations. Although not all members necessarily get along equally well, a way of relating develops over the years that allows the family to function as a unit. When one of the members dies, the remaining members often have to establish new ways of communicating with each other. They often begin to share the responsibilities of the one who died. The big difference between an executive committee and a family, of course, is that when a family member dies, the family can't hold a vote to replace him or her!"

Tip: Work at keeping the lines of communication open. Involve all family members in decision making. Continue to celebrate important events no matter how difficult it is. A casual comment such as, "Mom and Dad would have been married 45 years today" is a simple way of keeping communication open. Talk about your loved one daily and share both happy and sad memories.