How You Can Help Yourself Through Grief
by John Kennedy Saynor
 

During the months following a death those who are grieving often ask, "How can I help myself?" There is a great deal you can do for yourself.

Here are some tips others have found helpful.

1. Learn all you can about grief. The library in your local funeral home has a number books
and videos you will find helpful.

2. Give yourself permission to grieve, to feel the pain and to accept the reality of your loss.

3. Be patient with the process. It takes a long time. In many areas of our lives, we expect
immediate results. Grief is different. Take time, and be patient with yourself.

4. Get plenty of rest. Your body needs it while recovering from emotional stress.

5. Treat yourself occasionally - you're worth it! Things that add beauty to your life will
comfort and encourage you. Activities like massage therapy or yoga can work wonders.

6. Find people with whom you can share your loss. Many newly bereaved people find a great
deal of support and encouragement from bereavement support groups.

7. Take time to reflect on and reassess your life. What did you gain from the relationship you
had? How will that relationship sustain and guide you now? How is this experience changing
you? The greatest tribute you can pay your loved one is that you experienced personal growth from your relationship.

8. Draw on the resources of your faith. Let whatever helps you make sense out of life sustain
you. The journey through grief is a spiritual one. Allow your spirituality to become a focus of
your life. Let the words and music of your spirituality speak to you and give you courage and
hope for your journey.

The grieving process has the potential for transforming you. If you can say "yes" to that concept,
then life will be renewed. You will live and love again. The memory and the love of your loved
one will continue to motivate you and inspire you for the rest of your life.

John Kennedy Saynor is an Anglican Priest, a licensed Funeral Director and Coordinator of the GENESIS Bereavement Resource Centres.